Entry #009: Michelle Bachmann

Coming in at #9 we have one of my very favorite loons, the lovely Michele Bachmann. Bachmann is the United States Representative of Minnesota's 6th congressional district and a member of the Republican Party.



Judging by a number of trustworthy sources and good evidence (mostly the words that come out of her mouth), she may be the single stupidest person alive (perhaps in competition with Steve King, R-Iowa). Staunch supporter of the teabagging party (including all of their contradictory goals, apparently). Good mental compartmentalizer, for she is apparently completely unaffected by (or aware of) cognitive dissonance. Well, I don't think I can be bothered to update this one anywhere near continuously. This, for instance, is just far too typical. Following is a tasty selection of her wide variety of loony times.

• A quickly assembled but unrepresentative sample of the stuff that falls out of her mouth
• On CO2 emissions.
• On net neutrality.
• Discussion of her view on the swine flu (and the Democrats’ role in it).
• One more informative source of Bachmann quotes.
• An update on moronic crap falling out of Bachmann's mouth can be found here
• This one is pretty awesome.
• Anyone up for more falsehoods from Bachmann?
• Her husband isn't entirely well-hinged either, it seems.
• This one is also rather appalling. And here she claims that Terri Schiavo was healthy.
• At last she's also claimed that hurricane Irene was God's warning to America.
• And just to fill out the picture, she's finally accepted anti-vaxx rhetoric as well, falling for the simplest, most easily refutable talking points from the most insane conspiracy theory-laden antivaxx groups.
• Given the recent noise around Bachmann and HPV, this one deserves a link.
• This one is pretty good.
• Even though she’s obviously lost steam it’s kinda fun to keep track of her campaign. Here’s her claim that the US should follow China and drop the welfare state to boost the economy (the bizarreness of which is rather astounding). Indeed, she’s been making several, uh, interesting foreign policy suggestions lately. There’s a good Bachmann resource here.
• Oh, Michele
• And it never stops, even though you thought the last one was unbeatable.
• Here's the latest Bachmann endorsement of creationist and all the creationist talking points.
• Here's an illuminating interview with Bachmann on Biblical worldviews, public schools and a general lack of touch with anything resembling reality.
• And Bachmann explaining how she wishes to reform the courts to conform to her Biblical view of law. Charming.

Edit: A friend of mine has now provided us with a very detailed profile on Bachmann and what has created her thinking. Thanks!

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Diagnosis: Complete moron – a living embodiment of Dunning-Kruger. Obviously in possession of power and influence, and probably a large fan group as well; in other words very dangerous.

Entry #006: Steven Anderson & Zsuzsanna Anderson

Our sixth loon, Steven Anderson, is a rather frightening one.



An Arizona-based pastor at Faithful Word Baptist Church, Anderson is famous for sermons where he fervently prays (and asks his congregation to pray) for the death and eternal torment of people who disagree with him (mostly President Obama, democrats and gays), including urging his congregation to murder his enemies (i.e. gays and liberals). Strong advocate of Old Testament morality (“God didn’t change his mind”) but oblivious to the cognitive dissonance it brings with it. No qualms about lying about his opponents. Convinced that gays are currently bringing an end to America (and that liberals are really disguised gays – Anderson has several ad hominem arguments of the kind ‘x says p; x is a liberal; hence x is gay, hence p is false, a lie and part of a scheme to bring down America’).

Discussed here, for instance. And here.

After being out of the limelight for a year or so, Anderson seems to have decided to increase the volume.

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Diagnosis: Deranged, vile and very possibly clinically insane. Fred Phelps wannabe. Very dangerous to the extent that some of his (presumably relatively small) congregation might actually do what he tells them to do.
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Here we have an interesting and entertaining addition to my reproduction of the Encyclopedia of American Loons: the wife of Steven Anderson, who goes by the lovely name of Zsuzsanna. Here we have Anita Dalton of I Read Odd Books describe her:


She's one of the most vicious, nasty, mean, arrogant, lying pieces of shit one could ever hope to be the partner of the Pissing Preacher (PP) (explanation for this name here). It's like she was sent from Central Casting. She could not be a better partner to our Steven.
Over on Free Jinger, some think she is abused and should be pitied but I say dear ZsuZsu is Anderson's perfect helpmeet because her hate is just too heartfelt. She's raising her six, soon to be seven, children, to be virulent and ignorant homophobes and conspiracy theorists. And hey, if she births an army, she will never get breast cancer like all us childless lesbian atheists! She rejects all science except that which proves her spurious ideas - convenient!

Here's her blog. Literally every entry has some lovely bit of heinous ignorance, but here are some examples of the well of poisonous hate to be found in this stinking example of fine Christian womanhood:
• Here ZsuZsu says she disregards all science that is contrary to the Bible (she homeschools her kids, hahahahaha), every male OBGYN is a pervert, and she's psychologically torturing her neuro-atypical son, who has dyslexia except charming ZsuZsu says he's "artistic" which means he's thisclose to gay (in other entries she has said she would abandon and disown any child of hers who was homosexual). Don't miss the comments, where she is sure to point out her midwife IS NOT A LESBIAN!

• Here she chimes in on the extended breastfeeding issue, which is pure comedy gold coming from a woman having a baybee a year for Jesus and thinks the Bible has the answer for her every nutritional issue. A highlight: "Mammals are animals. Humans are - well, humans. NOT animals." SOTDT is gonna equip her kids well for life, no?
It's hard to find links when I just read her for fun because she is evil incarnate covered in baby barf, but some of her greatest hits include cursing down a couple down on their luck who came to their church asking for help because Jesus has no use for the poor - oops! ZsuZsu has no use for the poor and thinks that charity weakens people. Her views on welfare recipients are beyond hate speech. She believes that all church nurseries are run by pedophiles so any church that has a separate place for young children during services is probably raping children - found a link for that one. She encourages her children to demean other kids who attend school and have had vaccinations and her children are literally never out of her sight, which means they have zero friends because ZsuZsu hates all children but her own and would never permit other children in her house.

Her suspicion of modern medicine meant that one of her sons who suffers from extreme asthma was near death before she finally got him some proper care and he ended up in the hospital for days. She believes the government is out to get her and everyone else. Her children wear "9-11 was an inside job" shirts and have a poster on their walls that says the same. Though impoverished in every sense of the word, the family took a vacation this year to visit "Dr." Kent Hovind in prison. Hovind is a Christian martyr imprisoned for tax evasion and smurfing so no worries that the Andersons were taking their kids to see a rapist or a common liar and thief. (Editor's Note: We will be visiting the wondrous lunacy of Mr Hovind later on in our Loon Retrospective.)

Also the pictures on her site will warm your heart as the vomit surges forth. Her kids are off-limits to me because they did not choose that life but everything else... The PP in his underpants at the Thanksgiving table was a particular hit with those of us who just don't feel that we see the soft side of vicious hatemongers who want Obama dead.

Seriously, the next time you get the flu and can feel no sicker than you already are, read ZsuZsu's blog. She's the most charmless, jealous, wicked, stupid, self-impressed hate-mongering mommy blogger on the planet.

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Diagnosis: Just like her husband, she's deranged, vile and very possibly clinically insane - and a PERFECT MATCH for her Phelps-wannabe hubby. And despite her blogging, her influence is probably even less than her husband's, due to the subordinate role she would have in a Christian patriarchal community.